My Love of Paulo Coelho...

A story by Kahlil Gibran

I was strolling in the gardens of an insane asylum when I met a young man who was reading a philosophy book.

His behavior and his evident good health made him stand out from other inmates.

I sat down beside him and asked:
"What are you doing here?"
He looked at me surprised. But seeing that I was not one of the doctors, he replied:

"It's very simple. My father, a brilliant lawyer, wanted me to be like him. My Uncle, who owns a large emporium, hoped I would follow his example. My Mother wanted me to be the image of her beloved Father. My Sister always set her husband before me as an example of a successful man. My Brother tried to train me up to be an excellent athlete like himself.

And the same thing happened at school, with the Piano Teacher and the English teacher- they were all convinced and determined that they were the best possible example to follow. None of them looked at me as one should look at a man, but as if they were looking in a mirror.

So I decided to enter the asylum. At least here I an be myself."

Out of sorts and in a heap of a mess...

Ever have days, weeks, months maybe even a year or two where you can don the big sunglasses and frumpy clothes just so you can hide out. I have. I've been doing, living this dormant lifestyle not knowing where my life journey is going to take me. Not understanding where I am or where I am supposed to be. I guess we all have times like these. Me...I have a life like this.

Ever since I can remember, I've been surviving by the skin of my teeth. I've been getting by with the bare minimal. Just doing what I need to do in order just to get by. Yet not putting the WOW, in my life. Never letting anyone in close enough. Never pushing myself to the limit. I dream of adventure and just doing it. Being the best that I can be... putting my best foot forward. Pretending in my day to day that it's ok. That I am ok. Well.. I am not.

Never working towards any one Goal, but thinking about a million goals. I've lost focused. I lost direction y trying to take to much on all the while not taking anything on. I lost my discipline, if I ever had it to begin with. Discipline : 1 : PUNISHMENT; 2 obsolete : INSTRUCTION; 3 : a field of study; 4 : training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character; 5 a : control gained by enforcing obedience or order.

All the definitions are important and all are pertinent to me. The point is... how do I take it from the paper to the practice? How can I ingrain discipline into my day to day? How can I stop hiding out or wanting to hide out? The term, Just Do It... rings loudly in my ears but it isn't practical. I've said it to myself before. It's never worked. Grow up... that works but in order to grow up wouldn't you have had to had a childhood? Ok, I won't use that as a crutch... I won't. So what?, what can I do? I've written about goals and to do lists before. I know I am capable of so much more. I have yet to work to my potential.

What am I waiting for?

I have a quote: "Steal time from the life that passes you by." I love this quote I don't know who wrote it. My life is passing me by. I hate that, I hate thinking it or saying it. It is true. I am 34 years young, (not old) and yet my life is passing me by because I don't have the discipline it takes to succeed.

Success:1 obsolete : OUTCOME, RESULT; 2 a : degree or measure of succeeding; b : favorable or desired outcome; also : the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence; 3 : one that succeeds

I desire success and have yet, to be successful in anything I have done. If I were a doctor and this a disease, what medicine would I prescribe? How can I fix this? How can I fix me?

Again... how can I take it from paper to practice? Worse part about all this. I have been a lousy role model to my brother. I see him slipping down the same God awful slope as me. need to make a change. A big huge change. Something tremendous.